Funny Answers to What Do You Need
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Funny and Witty Replies to the Question "How Are You?"
Why should we hire you? That is the question!
To this day, the aforementioned query is still widely used in job interviews. Relevant or not, it's a question that's both classic and dated. Nevertheless, it does evoke some interesting responses.
Since the question "Why should we hire you?" seems obtuse and undiscerning, silly answers can easily be affixed to it—and this list collates a hundred of them! Do note that the various funny and witty responses here are merely tomfooleries and buffooneries. In no such case should you use them in actual job interviews. Well, you can use them—technically—but this list won't be responsible for the consequences.
Now, let's get it on! If you have more ideas that are funny, clever, or witty, feel free to add them in the comments.
1. Because you're hiring?
2. I would definitely be a great asset to the events team because I party all the time. So, let's get this part started!
3. That's because I'm fricking amazing!
4. Because I am always the food guy. Hire me and you'll never be hungry again.
5. If you don't hire me, you won't be able to leave here with a clear conscience. I guarantee that you'll always be haunted by your grave mistake of not hiring me!
6. Because I am not here to get paid. I am here to do a job!
7. Because I'm your nephew.
8. My credentials and experiences can speak for themselves.
9. If I give you a good reason, then I will no longer be equal with the other applicants. Trust me, it will be very unfair to them.
10. Because I waited at the reception area for 30 minutes and I observed that your only two employees were fooling around instead of working.
11. Because I showed up, sat on this chair, and speaking with you. The same can't be said for some of the people on your list. I can almost guarantee that.
12. Because I killed them all!
13. Because whatever I do, I put my everything into it. I do my best for my own personal fulfillment, not just because it's my job.
14. You should see the inside of my car. That's how my brain works.
15. Well, give me the opportunity to show you.
16. If I thought you shouldn't hire me, I wouldn't have shown up today.
17. You shouldn't hire me because you really aren't seeking the best person for the job. You are seeking someone whose skills and experience don't threaten you.
18. Because if you don't, I'll release the video. Yeah, I know you know what I'm talking about.
19.Because I'll work for free!
20. I really don't want to work. I'm only here for the money, and I will only give you the effort you pay for.
21. I once came first on the Rainbow Road map in Mario Kart.
22. Well, if you didn't want to hire me, I wouldn't be here would I?
23. To be honest, I'm just here because someone in your company wanted you to talk to me, and I had other things people planned for me this afternoon so I wanted an excuse to get away from them.
24. Thank you for that wonderful question.
25. If you hire me, all your dreams will come true.
26. What kind of lame-ass question is that? Come on now, you aren't even trying? At this point don't you just want to hire me so you can move on with your life?"
27.Because you have work that needs to be done, and I am qualified and willing to get that work done right.
28. Yes, I agree!
29. Because I am probably better looking, smarter and quieter than half the employees I have seen just by sitting in the waiting room, why wouldn't you?
30. Because if you don't hire me, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will do what you have in mind right now.
31. Because I cut through the bullsh*t and speak my mind, assh*le!
32. Because I have 10 million YouTube subscribers.
33. No reason, it's just that there are no equally qualified applicants.
34. You were the one who posted a job opening, so you tell me.
35. I've already applied three times and I feel that now is finally the time for me to be hired.
36.Because you'd be stupid not to! Your closest competitors have already made amazing offers, but I wanted to see what more you could offer me. Just remember that if you don't hire me, I will make it my life's work to shut you down!
37. I hate questions like this.
38.Because I'll end up taking your job
39.What's with all the questions? Are you a cop?
40. Because I will wreck this place up if I don't get the job.
41. Why wouldn't you hire me?
42. If you don't hire me, it would prove that the company's management is incompetent.
43. Because the other equally qualified applicants probably won't slit your throat and bathe in your blood while your freshly filleted face cooks on the grill for my dinner.
44. Because I said so.
45. I like money, you like money. I think we should do this.
46. Because I know what I'm doing and there's only one way for you to find out.
47. I'm not the better choice, I'm the best choice.
48. Because I am the best option you have.
49. If you hire me, I'll have the corporate logo tattooed on my forearm.
50. I know you've been looking for me this whole time. Your search is finally over!
51. Let's cut the chase. I need a job. You have one. Are you going to give it to me or not?!
52. Because I need money?
53. For the same reason I chose this company over other equally-qualified companies.
54. You probably shouldn't, I already have a job.
55. If you hire me, I'm going to make you look very good in front of your boss.
56. Because I have the antidote to the poison you just drank.
57. Because I'll never steal more than I feel I am entitled to.
58. Because I'm better than all of them.
59.Because life is full of regrets, and you don't want to make losing me one of them.
60. You shouldn't. I complain a lot. I do not work well with others, and I have unrealistic expectations about how things should be. I would not be an asset to your "team".
61. Because I'm allergic to unemployment.
62. Because I've got anger management issues. I don't take rejection quite well.
63.Because I will make you more money than you will pay me.
64. Now that you've asked me such a lame question with no definitive answer possible, you tell me why I'd even want this job.
65. Because if you don't hire me, I'm not likely to get much of your work done.
66. Because I can steal your nose, wanna see?
67. Darn it, I thought you guys were smart enough to have figured that out by now!
68. You have to hire someone. You might as well give me a try.
69. If you don't hire me, your competition will.
70. I'd rather not tell you.
71. Because the number of people available to you with my particular skill set can be counted with your fingers.
72. Because my dad will fire you if you don't hire me.
73. No, the real question is—why should I work for you?
74. Because you have a vacancy?
75. Because I've always been passionate about not starving to death.
76. You and I both know that none of your other candidates even come close to my qualifications. Quit playing around now. Let's do this quick so we can get a few drinks in over lunch, eh?
77. Don't like me now? Just think of the satisfaction you will get out of firing me later. Oh, you definitely savor it.
78.Because I will likely be better at your job than you are.
79. I'd have to kill you if I tell you.
80. Because I get sh*t done!
81. That's because I cover my food when I microwave it.
82. You shouldn't hire me. See? Reverse psychology!
83. I have a gun, lots of them actually, which is kind of why I'm looking for a new job.
84.If you don't, your competition will, then you'll have a problem.
85. Because you value quality work and you're looking for a dependable worker. Well, here I am!
86. Because I've wired this convenience store with several explosives. If you don't hire me, I will blow this place to high heaven!
87. Oh I don't know, why do you think you should hire me"?
88. Because I'm me and they're not.
89. Everyone else is trash. I have tons of potential.
90. Because you don't intimidate me!
91. Hiring me now will be cheaper than trying to convince me later.
92. No one is equal to me. There are only lesser applicants.
93. Interviews are a two way street. I'm sure if you and I weren't interested we wouldn't have made it to this question; one of us would have gotten up and left already.
94. I always carry my own weight, and I'm not above doing anything.
95. Because I have x and y qualifications to fit this job and I am a motivated individual.
96. I know hiring a new employee is large investment. I plan to have your investment pay off immediately.
97. Why not?
98. Because I will go to lunch, come back, clock back in, then go poop for 15 minutes.
99. Asking me that question is asking me to either lie, or read your mind and I won't do either. You don't know me so you'd be stupid to take my word for it, because any answer I'd give is suspect and biased. So, here's what you do. Call anyone I've worked for or with and ask them. You'll have your answer.
100. Because you look like a person that makes smart decisions.
Source: https://letterpile.com/humor/Funny-and-Witty-Responses-to-the-Question-Why-Should-We-Hire-You
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